


Virgil’s diary

by Dr_ssreid



Series: To all of the things we couldn’t say, and to the fucked up people we became. [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abused Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Issues, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Janus Sanders - Freeform, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Multi, Murder Husbands, Seriously wtf is this, serial killer au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_ssreid/pseuds/Dr_ssreid
Summary: Dr. Picani told me to start this. Its so fucking stupid that no one will listen to me. Fuck the government, fuck the police. They don’t do shit. They didn’t stop him so how will they fucking stop me-Virgil.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: To all of the things we couldn’t say, and to the fucked up people we became. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022923
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	1. Him.

**March,27 2009.**

“Okay.. so Virgil?” His new therapist spoke.. “tell me why youre here.”

  
  


“Because its mandated by the law because apparently when I was 10, I murdered my parents.”

“Ah yeah. I did see that in your chart. Tell me your recollection of the events.”

“I’ll tell you what I told the police. The person who killed that family 10 years before what happened to me, killed my family. Right infront of my own two eyes. He looked me straight in the eyes okay.” His therapist tried to speak- 

“Virgil, they did find their blood on your shirt-“

“Dr. Picani, I was trying to stop their wounds. I didn’t kill my dads. I didn’t murder the people I would kill to be alive again. I’m leaving.” Virgil grabbed his bags and walked out of the office.

“Virgi-“

He walked down the street for a while now. He’d spoiled himself with a cheap coffee, stared at a photo of his parents for a while. It was faded, but there they were. Patton and Roman. Virgil always joked Roman was a disney prince, that would always protect him. Even till death, he protected him. This was all he had left, a faded photograph, foggy memories. There would soon be a point where that wouldn’t be enough. 

He’d gotten to that point a while ago. The blame in his head shifted from himself to them to whoever killed them. He’d forever wondered why he didn’t lay a hand on him.

Why did he say the words “don’t look kid, please.”

Why didn't his parents scream?

Why has all of this fucked with him for the past 10 years?

Ten years later the cops didn’t find anything. Five years after he understood why the killer did it. Five years after he became the thing he feared.

He tried to change, don’t doubt him on that. He started a band, channeled his anger into music.

It didn’t work as well as the feeling of being able to control somebody's life, Having their life in his hands. 

He hadn’t killed in a while, he didn’t have time to stalk someone sadly. Not like there was anyone here he was attracted to. Not anyone he didn’t already kill. 

He used to kill like it would bring them back.

It never would. They were gone. And he would just have to get over it.

And besides he's got a gig in about an hour.

And thats where he met him. 

Scar and all. The way he looked at him, god he could melt on the spot.

He looked at least 30, not too bad. He of course teased him a bit after his performance.

“So you're just gonna watch me all night long huh perv?”

God the way he laughed. I can’t wait to wreck him, to see who's laughing then. Obviously he’d be him, him covered in blood. Blood would be pretty on this man's skin. 

It wasn’t on his parents and it wasn’t when it dripped from his arms. But thats besides the point. He needed to focus on this handsome stranger.

“Oh. It's not everyday you see a hot guy wearing a skirt.”

“You got a name sicko?”

“Oh its Janus, baby. Gotta know the name you’ll be screaming tonight right? And what’s yours pretty?”

_ Yeah I’ll be the one screaming for sure¿ _

“Virgil. And I don’t do hookups.”

“Oh.”

**Next victim: Janus.**


	2. What are these feelings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s so pretty, his hand would fit so well in mine. He would look pretty with blood just as he would if he kissed me. I want to hold his hand- is it wrong I want to?
> 
> -  
> Virgil

It started with one man. 

The man with the blood on his hands. 

The man who said “don’t look kid, please.”

The 21 year old, tan man with a scar on his cheek.

The one he was told was just his imagination.

**The man with the scar.**

He had weird habits. He went to the mall and then to another mall. Who goes to two malls in one day? 

He watched as the man stole things. A watch, a shirt, some random guys wallet. He watched as he looked kind of hot doing it.  _ He couldn’t wait until he could just-  _

**No.**

**  
  
**

He didn’t get his number all those weeks ago. Maybe he should’ve- Maybe he could’ve- no people don’t fall in love with people like him.

People with someone else's blood on their hands, scars on their arms and a photo of their dead parents stuffed into their ripped jeans. 

People who think too much.   
People who sit and wait for people to come back who won’t.  People who want someone- who need someone to just believe them. People who know they’d be better off if the person who killed their parents, killed them too.

No one would fall in love with a person like him.

**“Oh, fancy seeing you here.”**

_ But maybe he will. Just maybe..  _


	3. He treats me well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kept me living  
> From the last time  
> From a prison of a past life  
> On a mission just to feel like  
> When you kissed me for the last time”
> 
> \- Virgil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might make a playlist for this but idk yet

  
“So what do you do for a living?” I asked, while staring into those pretty eyes of his. But I won’t let it distract me from my plans, it never has before.

“Oh. I actually work at a youth hotline.”

“Oh.. that must be pretty upsetting.”

“Not really though, I understand what they’re going through. What about you?”

  
“What do you mean?”

”You ever gone through something traumatic?”

I took a sip of my drink. Hey if he’s offering, I might as well play the pity card.

”I watched my own parents get murdered and no one believes me. Oh and I’ve been raped a couple times at group homes.”

”oh. Im so sorry.”

”its fine lets talk about something else love.”   
Janus stared at him for a while, “FUCK IM SO SORRY.”

Janus just laughed.”Its perfectly alright, you’re adorable when you're anxious.”

Virgil nervously laughed.   
  


“Virgil seriously I don’t mind the pet name. It’s just, no one has ever called me one before.”

I loathe how you make me feel.   
  


**this may be harder than I originally thought.**


End file.
